We have been keeping a BIG secret, but the news is finally out and we can’t wait to shout it from the rooftops. WE’RE PREGNANT! Wooooh, what a relief it is to finally share the exciting new!
As you may have noticed I have been a little absent from the social media and writing scene. Or you may have noticed I kept talking about how sick I was, well, SURPRISE, it’s a baby. My inability to be ‘social’ was mainly due to the overwhelming sickness I feel when I am pregnant. That first tri is always really a doozy for me and this time around it was even worse than the last. So, needless to say, what little energy I could muster was spent trying to be present for my little because of course she endures the brunt of my sickness. Butttt, I am now I am a few weeks into my second tri
and finally feeling back to my energetic self! Thank the Lord! And couldn’t wait to share the great news now that it seems we are in the clear.
We had been trying since just before the beginning of the year and after a several disappointing visits from aunt flow we decided to take a different approach. You see, I have a habit of trying to control everything and although it didn’t initially strike me as a control thing, it was. I felt I was just doing my due diligence. Months of calculated tracking, timed intimacy, doing everything “right” and yet a tearful end. I had forgotten to just have fun with my spouse and let God do the planning for us. I thought back to the way our first child was conceived, completely unexpected but out of the most beautiful and loving circumstances of mine and my husband’s togetherness. I remembered how she was unplanned but God knew exactly what he was doing when He put her in our lives at exactly the time He did. Even though I had thought the timing was all wrong. So, why was I to assume that I had it all figured out this time? That my timing was so much better than God’s timing? And with that, I ditched the apps, threw out the schedules and just decided to enjoy the process.
Thirty something days later I realized we may be actually getting the exciting news we had been hoping for, for what felt like forever. I let God lead the way and our prayers were answered, in His timing on His terms because He always knows best. {Just to be clear, I know woman have tried for much longer without luck and understand it doesn’t work like this for everyone. I am not discrediting planning, or taking away from the true struggle that many people face when trying to conceive. I am simply stating our story and the way I saw our events take place.} .
Trying to conceive is really one of the most emotional situations a women can go through, especially if it takes longer than we hoped, or our friends or just about every other factor we can think of. It has a way of weighing so heavily on us that we devastate any chance we have in conceiving in the near future. Remember, it’s supposed to be fun, a time to excitedly bond with our spouses and when negative thoughts get in the way it can wreak havoc on our fertility and the man’s ability to perform. Of course, there are those serious circumstances that require a medical professional’s intervention as well, I don’t want to down play this at all. Our family has felt, first hand, the devastation losing a child can cause and the constant desire it paves to Mother a child, but that is not my story to tell. My heart and prayers go out to anyone feeling this weight.
We kept it to ourselves for a bit because, although, we were ecstatic when we found out, being so sick made it a little difficult to rejoice in the good news. On top of that we had quite a big scare when I woke one morning from sever cramping covered in blood. After a trip to the Dr. fearing the worst we were relieved to find out it was just a false alarm. {What a rollercoaster of emotions that was, all while my husband was out of town.} Apparently, I had just passed some serious blood clots, all normal, but not normally of that extent. The emotional stress this experience caused, ramped up my migraines and sickness for another few weeks. Despite the setback, I felt like the most fortunate and blessed woman on the planet after that, even with all the days spent head in the toilet and literally blind from searing migraines… literally. The baby was still healthy and we hit out knees in thanks and praise. A few weeks of “bed rest” {husband gone, no family around, ha, bed rest? Yah right!} and I was able to get back to my semi normal self with yet another sense of appreciation for this gift I had been given.
I think it’s safe to say there was a good week my daughter took care of herself {Thankful, for my ‘trick’ baby}. But we made it through and we’re on onto brighter, more energetic and happier weeks!
Parenthood, for me, has been one of the most eye opening experiences of my life. It has humbled me in more ways than I ever thought possible. It has given me such an overwhelming appreciation for anyone who has taken on this role, those trying to conceive, foster parents, adoptees, angel parents and all the friends and family who step in to make Mother and Fatherhood a little easier . It reminds me that no day is promised and to slow down and appreciate the grind, the good, the bad and the ugly, it’s all a blessing and a lesson under God’s perfect plan. Not to say that I didn’t appreciate my beautiful daughter before but every day I am reminded, a little more, of another reason I am so fortunate to care for her… and now one more.
**I also wanted to send out a little prayer to all those having difficulty conceiving, those who have lost a child and those feeling like they are drowning in their ability to parent. You are not alone we are all in this together and everyone struggles. Speak up! Us as Moms need to stand up and advocate for each other and maybe our courage will spark a revolution inside someone, give them the strength they needed to keep on going Sometimes we need the hug and sometimes we are the hugger, remember to stand up and be there for your fellow females. I’ll be here for you! Reach out, let’s chat!